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The End Of A Dynasty

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%The Velvet Nutsack

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Considering TLP forums are my therapy it's only right that I make a topic.

I've quit drinking for the foreseeable future. I'll still have one or two if I go out to the bar but other than that na.

Ending my career with no arrests and no STDs, I consider that a win.


-Pissing on a group of people at Spring Awakening on the main stage with thousands of people on it.

-Going to my old apartment and falling asleep in my old bed which I realized wasn't mine when the current owners woke me up. http://i.imgur.com/Y3kCqpj.jpg?1picture of the note they left me.

-Waking up in my neighbor's backyard with no shirt one sock using a tarp as a blanket with a bloody cut on my face. Apparently they thought I was breaking in for a second and almost shot me lol.

-Meeting some girls at a gas station with my two cousins, ended up partying at the girls' house. We completely fucked up their house up including appearances by me and my cousin falling into a hamster cage and me pissing in the fridge for some reason. One of the girls is now my cousin's GF of about two and a half years lol.

-Coming out of a blackout while walking and realized I was in a different city.

-Getting picked up by the police at 4am when I was pounding on a random person's front door because I thought it was my cousin's house, even though he lives 100 miles away.

-One night $374 bar tab.

-Waking up upside down on some church steps with leaves in my hair.

-Being woken up by a homeless person in a downtown alley.

-Sneaking into the back of a pizza place and stealing a half cooked pizza out of the oven. Like I opened the oven up and took the pizza out with the wooden pizza spatula thing lmao.

-Almost getting frostbite on my hands after passing out in a snow bank with no gloves on a 10 degree night.

-Losing my wallet 3 times.

-Drunk stumbling into a window in my house which surprisingly will only cost me 39 bucks yeet.

-Headbutting @%R3V3NGED , sorry about that lad.


And all of this took place in just a two year period.

Good times but I'm getting out while the getting's good.

s/o to my alcoholic role model @+Sexy Rainz , sorry I couldn't live up to your greatness.

  • Adam, Kyle, Blitz-f-t-w and 8 others like this



    ◕‿ ◕

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too bad your getting white girl wasted at ultra



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Damn and the pizza snatch, was a good run.


Cheers to making good decisions ;)



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Wow, that's quite the list of events you have there. The funny part is I've personally done a few of these things myself. (-;


Glad to hear you're quitting while you're ahead.

%Range Grudge

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Yea ok



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The list ain't completed until you almost burn down a gas station and get a call from the polcie next day ..



    World's Greatest

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There is literally a 0.01% chance of this happening but I believe in you Dave. Good luck <3




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Headbutting rev lmao



    The True Pure

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ur fucked up bruh



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Minor, fuck stopping - keep up the good work



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King Steve

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You got that hot white girl so its all good man!



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too bad your getting white girl wasted at ultra

this u ain't quitting nigga



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i'll pour some in your name, brother



    The Wisewolf of Yoitsu

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If we ever hang out you have to get drunk af with me



    The Wisewolf of Yoitsu

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pinned cause legendary~



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ily dave




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Haha :D i know how you feel, not rdy to give up on it tho

%The Velvet Nutsack

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this u ain't quitting nigga

Ill stick to to mind altering substances that don't make me black out. And Molly is calorie free breh that's always a plus.

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